The Flower Raj Articles

Welcome Guest

Search:

Casablanca Gone East

Article Submitted By: PeterVivianeCoplon
Date: Sun, 16 Jun 2013 Time: 6:39 AM

I wrote this 5 years or so back after not being in India in about 25 years,it was after my first visit ever to Calcutta,a shithole memory I shall cherish,till the next time

CASABLANCA GONE EAST

the getaway from calcutta was indeed memorable

sort of like the escape from the black hole
the ride to the airport was like being in a high speed chase
as far as my maniacal injun taxi driver saw it
squealing tires & a cloud of dust as we departed the hotel
was my initial sign that a liesurely ride outta town was out of the question

zigging & zagging,continual horn honking,near miss accelerated 2 lane changes
cutting off trucks,buses,cows , dogs & the other indianascar
participants that were also driving amok.left turns from the right
lane at full acceleration
"say jagdish" (real injun name) "you can slow it down
i am not late for my plane"
'BRAKES ARE FOR PUSSIES!!!!!"
he floored it
threading between a bus and car (i thought i spotted the bus driver blindfolded)
paint smears were traded ,and the race continued

some pedetrian in a crosswalk was cicrcumcised by our too close pass
poor bastard never knew what tipped him
became a moslem on a traffic island
"ALLAH BE PRAISED"

AND THEN IT HAPPENED
2 tourist buses entered the competition & the pace picked up more
now we have drivers yelling epithets from bus to taxi at one another
oh no! six kilometres to the airport
yikes!!!!!
now the odds for a favorable airport arrival
were dropping faster than my stomach
the bastards in that bus are german tourists headed to the same
international terminal as me
we're all doomed
as the race accelerates I hallucinate on the blitzkreig
coming to a screeching halt
 we arrived simultaneously
at the airport
it was a photo finish
we all survived
but i definitely knew
i was on my way out of calcutta
and it was midnight

the airport waiting room was like greyhound bus station gone wrong
terribly wrong
the air conditioner turned to the coldness level of a meat locker
my breath was visible from the chill
and the denizens of this place
nouvue riche injuns (lap top,mp3,telephone+all simultaneously on)
the Macau china nerd team
and massive amounts of germans for a lufthansa flight
back to the motherland
ambience of a bar inhabited by bogart & bergman
but there was no piano
and I definitely did not want to hear it again
"OF ALL THE DIVES IN THE WORLD & YOU HAD TO PICK CALCUTTA"

not enough seats for those awaiting the plane
getting up to go to the toilet immediate seat loss
anyway i was not that keen on heading to that  "rest room"
kind of literally entering the bowels of hell
3 hours later boarded my flight

as we taxied down the runway
out the window i bid aloha to my 2 week fantasy adventure
and waved

2 hours later landed in bangkok to watch the sunrise
arrived where i stay
entered & was immediately siezed with food poisoning
wretched away the entire day & thru the night

"do i know how to whistle
 when i think of calcutta
i just pucker up
& blow chunks"


your roving
despondentELEPHANTTOW.jpg

About the Author

Peter Viviane Coplon works on Planet Earth & went to the school of Hard Knox  http://www.facebook.com/peterviviane.coplon


Rating: 5.0

Comments

No comments posted.

Add Comment

You do not have permission to comment. If you log in, you may be able to comment.

More in this Category

1: Afghani Bazaar
2: Casablanca Gone East
3: gods galore!
4: Women unlocking mysteries
5: Yellow woman chicken curry Penang style
6: crow remembering
7: A days walk up the street
8: The crow cooks from Brooklyn to Bombay
9: Latches to be opened
10: widows of varanasi

View Options & Stats

View PDF | Print View
Total views: 14253
Word Count: 491
Submitted: Sun, 16 Jun 2013 Time: 6:39 AM